Swine flu. Run for my life!
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
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