is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Randomize
