dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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