sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
You were trust falling into bushes
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
