we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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