I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Randomize
