girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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