What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Drake has all the answers
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Randomize
