I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
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