i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
