he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
