All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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