My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
