Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Randomize
