hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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