I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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