Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
