THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Randomize
