so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
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