This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
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It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
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Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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