people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Randomize
