so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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