you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
