you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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