she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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