Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
