What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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