You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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