It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
