I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
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