Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Randomize
