you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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