i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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