Who did Billy Mays play for?
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize