I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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