dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
