so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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