The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
