Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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