I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
