so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
