No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
