just come out here and I will go home with you...
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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