ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
