So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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