just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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