That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
