So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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