HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
where are you?
Hypothermia
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
