i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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