i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
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