I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
