Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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