Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
