i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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