Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
