I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
