Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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