Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
