Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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