did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
He told me they were just razor bumps!
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize