Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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