do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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