Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
