She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
